The Worst Panic Attack Yet! Part 3

The humour of needing to go to the bathroom as I said was a release  from the panic attack as it was building.

Everything was going on at the same time it seemed, as we sped along the highway.

The driver calling back to the guy watching me, the attendant asking me questions that I found to be annoying, sounds of the equiptment shaking from the speed of the ambulance…..You get the picture.

They kept doing the E.C.G. reading and even though I was shaking ,scared, and in pain I could tell by the tone of their voices that there was a need to get me to the hospital ASAP.

It felt like we would never get to the hospital and I did not recall it taking that long to drive up to our cabin earlier,even in that old truck.

In my rational mind I knew my husband was somewhere behind us but him not being there with me was a panic situation all on it’s own.

After being with someone for over 25 years, it is not easy to be alone at a time like this.

As I was alone in my head…with my thoughts I was interupted by a voice saying” here we are at the hospital”.

Finally! Help was near….The assault on my body was about to get worse.

All the needles.medications,tests and being hooked up to monitors that made lots of strange sounds was building The Worst Panic Attack Yet!

I know everthing was being done to help me but I just wanted to go back to the way it was a few hours ago when I had no idea or experience with heart attacks.

My family came from all over to see me and I was in a state of trying to not let them know how scared I was. In the same breath however,I felt like if I was looking too smiley I would’nt be taken seriously.

The thing that I was trying to do was not worry the children but I could see the looks on their faces and that was so sad I could’nt help but cry. All this of course was not good for my condition and everyone was telling me to just relax and not get wound up.

I wanted to tell them that the whole thing seemed unreal and from my hospital bed things sure took on a different meaning.

Instead I said nothing because there was no explaining this thing that was part of my life from now on.

That’s right ….my life. It dawned on me that I could still say “my life”

Once again The Worst Panic Attack Yet! was being released. I foung myself being grateful to have survived this so far. Hope came to me and took the fear away .

Someone was taking care of me and I realized it was MYSELF. That inner voice and strength was coming to my aid.

So, I suppose I want to tell you all that I hope you never have the heart attack experience,however….. don’t be surprized when your inner strength shows up to save the day.

Once again… till another article. Thankyou for the opportunity to tell my story.

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