Dying of embarrassment will not happen because people know one of my phobias,however the anxiety follows me to this day concerning how I came to develop this in the first place.

If I see one I must find it and kill it.

If I do not find it I have to search around and check everything out in the surrounding area.

The problem is even worse if one happens to get on me.

We sold our boat because there were always spiders at night and on the water they can get to be pretty big.

I hated the fact that one would drop down in front of me when I was just sitting there enjoying the evening.

We tried all the usual methods to rid ourselves of the pests but they just kept coming back.

When a fear goes as far as mine did I was embarrassed to tell people the real reason we sold the boat.

We have a cabin now and we get some visits from the critters but they are few and far between, thank goodness.

All kidding aside, I can tell you that the first experience I had with a spider was when I was a child and we lifted a board up in a friends garage during a renovation and low and behold I got the shock of my young life when I saw the size of this one.

This is probably creeping out a few of you but I will continue.

The next experience I had was during a stay in a foster home when I was fifteen.

My mother had died a few months before and my whole family was separated from one another.

Later some of us were reunited, however my youngest brother was adopted and we never saw him again.

It has been thirty-seven years since I have seen him.

You might wonder what this has to do with the phobia I am speaking about but some background is sometimes necessary.

Lets just say that the foster home was an abusive place and while I was there I slept in a place that was not very nice.

It was in this place that the spiders came at night, thus my fear of them.

Do you see what I am saying?

It is not the spiders that I feared; it was the experience and the resulting memories of the home.

That to me is what many people do not understand.

There is usually an underlying reason such as trauma that magnifies our fear of something we associate with the item,place, insect or whatever was the trigger for the fear long ago.

That is how I have come to understand the phobia I have and am still dealing with it all these years later.

Look deeper than just the surface and you may find the memory or trigger to your own phobias.

When you see, learn, identify and take action you can take a bite out of the past and resolve the problem.

Taking action against fears and panic is empowering.

You are taking care of yourself and that feels good.

http://www.anxietyended.com/recommends/panicaway