March 15, 2007

Separation Anxiety: Not Just For Children

I have asked myself this question over and over again.

Why do so many couples get separated when all the children leave home and they have had a life together for sometimes over 25 years.

All the time that you now have and used to think of as a reward at the end of all your years of work and dedication feels empty and you find out that there is not even a gold watch given to you for the services provided.

I know there are many other unseen rewards when you look back on your life,especially if you have been a stay at home mother.

For instance, you can see how healthy,happy,confident,well adjusted and successful your children have become. That of course is something that no amount of money can buy and to a parent there is no greater feeling than to know all is well with their babies.

That is what makes the separation anxiety so profound when all the children have moved out and you feel like you have lost your friends and they have left you behind.

When you like your children not just love them they are alot like a good friend.

We go on to develop a new relationship with our children and now as they are adults we get a whole new set of situations and experiences.

So what was once perhaps a sad time has been reborn to begin the next cycle.

It is difficult to see them go ,one by one but that is what is supposed to happen in the cycle of life.

There is a feeling of retirement and you must find your way back into a life of your own. There are many hours in a day and having a purpose everyday can help stop panic ,anxiety and depression from taking hold.

Not only did the relationship with your children change but so did the one with your partner.

It is not new information to most people when I say that partners need to find each other again after many years of taking care of everything and everyone.

This separation anxiety from your partner has happened while you were still in the same home.

Be aware that there will be adjustments needed by both people and if you think it was difficult to raise a family, I know you will be in for some interesting challenges ahead.

It will be time to make a new friend again .

Just look across the kitchen table and see who is there looking back at you.

This can be a great chapter for beginnings for you and your partner instead of an anxiety filled separate world.

As we have found out however,it will take effort and actions to produce the desired results.

Communicate with each other even if the conversation starts off talking about simple things. You could perhaps mention your feelings and that you have found a way to end anxiety and would they be interested in hearing your opinion and maybe get the benefits of all your work.

 http://www.anxietyended.com/recommends/panicaway

 

Filed under Anxiety by Lorraine Roach

Permalink Print Comment

Leave a Comment

Subscribe without commenting