2. Don”t assume that you know what the affected person needs, ask them. Make a mutual plan about how to fight the anxiety problem.

3. Let the person with the disorder set the pace for recovery. Its going to take months to change avoidance patterns, expect slow but increasingly difficult goals to be attempted.

4. Find something positive in every attempt at progress. If the affected person is only able to go part way to a particular goal, consider that an achievement rather than a failure. Celebrate new achievements, even small ones.

5. Don”t enable. That means don”t let them too easily avoid facing their fears, yet DO NOT FORCE them. Negotiate with the person to take one more step when he or she wants to avoid something. Gradually stop cooperating with compulsive or avoidance habits that the person may be asking you to perform. Try to come to an agreement about which anxiety habit you”re going to stop cooperating with. Take this gradually, it’’s an important but difficult strategy.

6. Don”t sacrifice your own life activities too often and then build resentments. If something is extremely important to you, learn to say so, and if it’’s not, drop it. Give each other permission to do things independently and to also plan pleasurable time together.

7. Don”t get emotional when the person with the disorder panics. Remember that panic feels truly horrible in spite of the fact that it is not dangerous in any way. Balance your responses somewhere between empathizing with the real fear a person is experiencing and not overly focusing on this fear.

8. Do say: "I am proud of you for trying. Tell me what you need now. Breath slow and low. Stay in the present. It’’s not the place that’’s bothering you, it’’s the thought. I know that what you are feeling is painful, but it is not dangerous." Don”t say: " Don”t be anxious. Let’’s set up a test to see if you can do this. Don”t be ridiculous. You have to stay, you have to do this. Don”t be a coward."

9. Never ridicule or criticize a person for becoming anxious or panicky. Be patient and empathetic, but don”t settle for the affected person being permanently stagnant and disabled.

10. Encourage them to seek out therapy with a therapist who has experience treating their specific type of problem. Encourage sticking with therapy for as long as steady attempts at progress are being made. If visible progress comes to a stop for too long, help them to re-evaluate how much progress they did make, and to renew their initial efforts at getting better. 

Visit: http://www.anxietyended.com   and pick up your own copy of our book , Anxiety Ended- Regain Your Freedom And Overcome Your Fears

Let 2008 be your recovery year

Keep the comments coming

So many people have had or are now experiencing it and it has become politically correct to talk about our mental illnesses or disorders. As you know, anyone who is perceived as having a different personality from the majority of the public or perhaps what others use to call odd and eccentric is no longer having to sweep their condition, concerns or treatment under the rug ,so to speak.

We discuss any subject these days and sometimes it has been said that perhaps we really do not need to know every detail of any given subject. Being informed is always a good thing ,even before Martha Stewart coined that phrase. However, as in all things in the universe, there is an opposite side to the know it all theory.

When too much information, depending again on what is being discussed is put forth, that thing we know as stress, panic, anxiety and depression can arise for some of us. How does one get to a place where the balance of the need to know scenario is in check or insync with a healthy amount of knowledge? That is based on the individual I believe. Only you can say when there has been too much information presented to you on your plate. Sometimes if the information is saturating your mind, it is a good idea to stop what you are reading, watching or listening to, so that you can take a break and return to things after a time. We all have our own point of saturation. This does not have anything to do with a persons intelligence. As with any task, we will do what we can at a pace that is comfortable for each of us. Take the pressure off of yourself to be as quick to learn or accomplish a task as someone else does it. When you give yourself permission to be yourself and stop the comparisons, I know that you will receive more benefits from your efforts. It is better to gain knowledge comfortably when it concerns your state of mind and well being. Remember what the word individual means and realize it means you.

Learning new information about anxiety and mental health can be a mystifying experience so leave the shame behind and concentate on the experience of coping and recovery. Here is some information for you as you  begin your recovery.

Check it out here: http://www.anxietyended.com/overcome

Perhaps you would like to make a comment on how you think some people cope with what they see as an association between shame and anxiety.